The Revolution is Not a Dinner Party

It's Just Lunch....or IS IT??

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Eminent Domain is Manifest Destiny updated for y2k

I love this: "The $3.5 billion Prospect Heights plan includes a New York home for the New Jersey Nets, along with office buildings and apartment complexes. A U.S. Supreme Court ruling last week paved the way for the state to invoke eminent domain, condemning several blocks to make way for the project."

As Mike says, "Pragmatists get things done."

Are they serious? First of all, I don't think New York City Housing falls under the jurisdiction of the US Supreme Court. I mean, wasn't that what Gangs of New York was about? (and yes, I do know about Penn Central...I'm being tongue-in-check here). Second, when and where do I get to submit my eminent domain project to the city administration?

I say all this rezoning of rail yards is missing the point. Its not just about making new stuff, its about an improved city. I have a 3-step plan. First, level all the housing projects on the East River north of Houston (check out NYC Songlines for all the cool stuff I'd destroy); Second, in its place build vertical bungalows for the stars and potentially even a fake beach; and third use the money to pay for a 2nd ave subway line for the rich folks and even bigger and better shitty housing in the outer boroughs for the low income folks. Free TiVo and Ipods for the first residents to voluntarily leave. Now that's America.

I'm kidding. However, the Brooklyn plan looks kind of cool. But, do the little scale models of the the redevelopment plan ever look ugly?

I'll conclude by noting that there is some irony in the Supreme Court being perceived as opening the floodgates to redevelopment right at the cusp of the most outrageous nation-wide housing bubble imaginable.

But, back to my plans for the city...why have just one corporately sponsored fireworks display? That's small minded capitalism. Forward thinking capitalists know that the real answer is to have 7 different competing corporate fireworks displays, each targeted to a neighborhood/demographic. Of course, for the East Village we'd have to figure out a way to get Lou Reed to play with a mariachi band and then work fireworks in to the mix.

I'm a little late, and the war chest is empty, but I humbly throw my hat into the 2006 mayoral platform is simple: 1) A Paris Commune-esq lawless squatter renaissance for Brooklyn (our slogan: RETURN BREUCKELEN TO THE DUTCH) 2) a complete 100% gentrification of Manhattan 3) Queens for the folks who were actually born here 4) the Bronx gets turned over to Russell Simmons and his Asia-bride for redecoration 5) Staten Island gets to keep on keeping on. Oh yeah, Hoboken stays with the ugly folk....

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Sandra Day O'mygodwe'refucked.

Does anyone else think its incredibly fucked up that the twin great (not-so) white hopes of the American left are Snarlin Arlen Specter* and Alberto Gonzalez. I mean, come on folks. The Warren Commission and the 911 Commission are one in the same! Can't you see! They have Us by Our Balls. Remember, however, that a fully developed They-system must include an Us-system.

Also, in the vain of conspiracy theories. You heard IT HERE FIRST. Noah Feldman forced Sandra Day to resign! How else could he get such a perfectly timed cover story in the NY Times magazine? Colonel Mustard, in the Library, with the Rope.

Finally, on Sandra some point last year I learned to respect one significant and coherent vain of legal conservatism-- the Legal Process school...If only all judges decided only that which they felt was within their institutional competence. Isn't sad then, that on the verge of Republicans' 20 years of SC dominance, not a single pundit could even consider a conservative coming out of said School getting on the Court. There's a reason why I'm a Democrat. We have our crooks and our liars. But at least somebody in the Dem party cares about getting the right people in the right place. Fuck you George Bush. Fuck you Grover Norquist. You wouldn't know public service if it stood up and bit you on the ass.

*Specter and me go way back. When I was 14, he came to my synagogue (I'm from the great state of Pennsylvania). We were allowed to write questions that the rabbi would read. I asked, "after 30 years, isn't it time to reconsider the Magic Bullet Theory and the rest of the Warren Commission's report?"** Specter replied, "I can't believe people still care about this. Seriously, isn't there anything better to talk about." No Arlen, there isn't anything better to talk about. You were the Man's Stooge back then and you're still the Man's Stooge today. Enjoy the limelight.

**I was raised on AM Talk Radio.

Monday, July 04, 2005

KURT EICHENWALD, love him or hate him.

I took much amusement watching late night TV one night at my pad because NY Times ink slinger Kurt Eichenwald was on 3 different channels at once (2 and 1/2 considering one was CSPAN booknotes). Eichenwald was pitching his book about Enron. I find this funny because I've been told that Eichenwald was quite a dick during SD Texas Ken Lay indictment proceedings, constantly berating court staff that the judges, "didn't know what they were doing." Kurt apparently got himself kicked out court. I guess Eichenwald has had the last laugh since the mistreated SD Texas staff have told me that his book, Conspiracy of Fools, is the best Enron tome yet. (I'm holding out for the Thomas Pynchon version). Furthermore, said-same staff can't stop raving about, "At PartyGaming, Everything's Wild," which is unfortunately already archived at Abuse your pro bono billing code on westlaw and get a copy. The PartyGaming story is about the saga of internet gambling companies that want to go public.