The Revolution is Not a Dinner Party

It's Just Lunch....or IS IT??

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Eminent Domain is Manifest Destiny updated for y2k

I love this: "The $3.5 billion Prospect Heights plan includes a New York home for the New Jersey Nets, along with office buildings and apartment complexes. A U.S. Supreme Court ruling last week paved the way for the state to invoke eminent domain, condemning several blocks to make way for the project."

As Mike says, "Pragmatists get things done."

Are they serious? First of all, I don't think New York City Housing falls under the jurisdiction of the US Supreme Court. I mean, wasn't that what Gangs of New York was about? (and yes, I do know about Penn Central...I'm being tongue-in-check here). Second, when and where do I get to submit my eminent domain project to the city administration?

I say all this rezoning of rail yards is missing the point. Its not just about making new stuff, its about an improved city. I have a 3-step plan. First, level all the housing projects on the East River north of Houston (check out NYC Songlines for all the cool stuff I'd destroy); Second, in its place build vertical bungalows for the stars and potentially even a fake beach; and third use the money to pay for a 2nd ave subway line for the rich folks and even bigger and better shitty housing in the outer boroughs for the low income folks. Free TiVo and Ipods for the first residents to voluntarily leave. Now that's America.

I'm kidding. However, the Brooklyn plan looks kind of cool. But, do the little scale models of the the redevelopment plan ever look ugly?

I'll conclude by noting that there is some irony in the Supreme Court being perceived as opening the floodgates to redevelopment right at the cusp of the most outrageous nation-wide housing bubble imaginable.

But, back to my plans for the city...why have just one corporately sponsored fireworks display? That's small minded capitalism. Forward thinking capitalists know that the real answer is to have 7 different competing corporate fireworks displays, each targeted to a neighborhood/demographic. Of course, for the East Village we'd have to figure out a way to get Lou Reed to play with a mariachi band and then work fireworks in to the mix.

I'm a little late, and the war chest is empty, but I humbly throw my hat into the 2006 mayoral platform is simple: 1) A Paris Commune-esq lawless squatter renaissance for Brooklyn (our slogan: RETURN BREUCKELEN TO THE DUTCH) 2) a complete 100% gentrification of Manhattan 3) Queens for the folks who were actually born here 4) the Bronx gets turned over to Russell Simmons and his Asia-bride for redecoration 5) Staten Island gets to keep on keeping on. Oh yeah, Hoboken stays with the ugly folk....

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