New York Times Most Popular

Checking out my new homepage (goodbye Drudge, thanks for the fish), I saw this. In keeping with my general "if its good enough for Hitler" approach to line-drawing in the context of Affirmative Action all I can do is shrug. However, I'm pretty sure modern-day America version of Dante's Inferno will have some space on hold for Alen Moldawer. Call it The Ring of Rushing Everyone else Down in a Race to the Bottom. I have no problem with mr. Moldawer's point, "you can bet that any advantage we can take we will" argument. Its just the idea of ordering the kit and swabbing the cheeks that seems so unseemly.

Wife: "Oh Alan, no, this is ridiculous"

Moldawer (unpacking swabs): "What if they're Indian?"

Wife: "what if they're Indian, come on, you think that chart that you just pulled out of a mail order box is going to make them Indian?"

Moldawer (moving briskly to the door and yelling): "BOYS, get in here!"

Wife: "I asked you a question"

Moldawer: "look, honey, this isn't going to change anything...they'll always be our kids, you know that"

Wife: “God damn it Alan, of course they are our kids, why are you doing this?”

Moldawer: “They don’t mind”

Wife: “Of course they don’t mind, you told them it would help pay for college”

Moldawer: “it may”

Wife: “How?? you’re going to make them write a letter or some essay about how, even though they just found out they are Indian, they are really excited to explore their roots??”

Moldawer: “is that really so much”

Wife (hushed but angry voice): “yes! Maybe they don’t want to explore their roots, maybe they like being white…maybe they don’t want to go to some meeting to accept a check…sitting with all the other Indian kids…if they’re part black, you’re going to send them to a NAACP meeting?”

Moldawer: “Why do you always make me the bad guy?? I love them, I want them to go to whatever college they want to go to…can’t we at least find out.”

Wife: “What was it, two months ago, when you found out about all the financial aid, that’s when you suddenly cared…or maybe you always cared”

Moldawer: “that’s sick, don’t you trust me”

Wife: “we can pay for college, this is some stupid battle you’ve dreamed up because you always hated special treatment for minorities”

Moldawer: “I JUST WANT TO FIND OUT…..BOYS, GET DOWN HERE!”