The Revolution is Not a Dinner Party

It's Just Lunch....or IS IT??

Monday, March 21, 2005

Truly Tasteless Jokes, Volume 319

This is horrible, I'm sorry. But, a search of google turned up no results for "Terri Schiavo jokes." So, I figured I had to step in. I only have one, and its not even that funny. Here you go:

Joker: did you hear about the new short story about Terri Schiavo?
Straight man: no
Joker: I couldn't finish, it just seemed like Finnegan's Wake to me.

Others have suggested:

"You KNOW Terri Schiavo?" "Yeah, she's totally tubular"

and

"I heard when Terri Schiavo dies she wants to give her feeding tube to the Pope."

There you go kids, The Revolution is Not a Dinner Party is bringing the internet to a new low! PLEASE SUBMIT your own Terri Schiavo jokes. Remember though, this is all being done in the name of fokelore science. (btw, my favorite line of that article, "Challenger jokes seem to be the high-water-mark of disaster humor"....so true). Also, if you got to this page via a random web search for the phrase "Terri Schiavo jokes," please let us know why you were searching for such things and may god have mercy on your soul.

Finally, I'd like to point out that recent events suggest a general "Political Compass" test regarding the sanctity of life. I'm still working out the details, but the extreme cases on each axis seem to me to be: Terri Schiavo, a retarded fetus, the Pope, and terminally ill pain-sufferers. I'm not sure how to organize this, or what the various quadrants would signify. Needless to say, I'll be burning the midnight oil to get it right.


11 Comments:

At 8:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

you, sir, are at the vanguard. but the followers, they come. see: http://www.whitehouse.org/news/2005/031905.asp

 
At 6:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Famous and brain dead, Terri's got Paris and Nicole worried about their jobs.

Sorry that's the best I can do so far, but I'm thinking there's got to be some good ones out there.

 
At 6:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oops, the Paris and Nicole line was mine, but I forget to mention I did find this under yahoo "Terri Schiavo jokes".

I was talking about Challenger jokes over coffee, and wondering if the Terri jokes had started yet. So did the search and ended up her. I'm dissapointed that the jokes haven't started, but I'm not giving up on humanity yet, just Terri.

 
At 11:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What's on Terri Schiavo's iPod?

 
At 11:54 PM, Anonymous Sebastian said...

I've been doing "Terri Schiavo Jokes" searches all day long. Give it a few days... The only things I could come up with was a fake interview with Terri, and asking for Terri Schiavo when I call my friends on the phone. One of them said "Sorry, Terri can't come to the phone right now, she's in a persistent vegetative state."

 
At 2:05 AM, Anonymous Sebastian said...

Q: What is the difference between Terri and Jar Jar Binks?
A: Even Mike Tyson wouldn’t rape Jar Jar

Q: Why is Terri not like celery?
A: One is green, stiff and unable to communicate. The other is a vegetable.

Q: Why is Terri not like a tomato?
A: You can juice a tomato.

Q: What did Jesus say to Terri?
A: Don’t do ANYTHING ‘till I get back.

Q: What did Terri Say when Bush won a 2nd Term?
A: “uuuuuuuuuuh”

Q: Did you hear MTV is making a show about Terri?
A: It’s called unplugged.

Q: Why did Terri’s dog run away?
A: You would too if your name was “uuuuuuuuh”

Q: Why can’t Terri drive?
A: She’s a woman

Q: What is the difference between Terri and Albert Einstein?
A: Oh about “uuuuuuuuh”

Q: What is Terri’s favorite food?
A: Tube steak

Q: What is the difference between Terri and a zombie?
A: “Nuuuuuuuuuuuthing”

Q: What should you get Terri for Christmas?
A: A body bag

Q What did Terri say about these jokes?
A: “uuuuuuuuuuuh”

 
At 7:08 PM, Blogger JS said...

I'm glad you got "tube steak" in there, I was trying to work that in.

 
At 9:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Q: Why did Terri cross the road?
A: Someone pushed her.

A Priest, a Rabbi and Terri Schaivo walk into a bar...

Q: How many Terri Schaivos does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Infinity.

 
At 9:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Q: Why did Terri cross the road?
A: Someone pushed her.

A Priest, a Rabbi and Terri Schaivo walk into a bar...

Q: How many Terri Schaivos does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Infinity.

 
At 12:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Q: A person who stops eating meat is called a vegetarian--what do you call a vegetable who stops eating?

A: Terri Schiavo

 
At 11:23 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

These really are taste less and un funny, i just hope the husband or family don't read these other wise they'll come looking for you

 

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